I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
