We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize