Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
