I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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