girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
