paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Two words: blizzard sex
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize