My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
