just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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