Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
