you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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