I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
