Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
