he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
