The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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