And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
