that's an acceptable place to lick
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
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