Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
