I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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