1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
