when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
