Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
