Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
