Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
