new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
