1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I touched a dick in church today
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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