whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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