all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
