Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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