This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you will always have a special place in my vag
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize