Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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