That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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