once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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