i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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