sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
