The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
and you fell through a lawn chair
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
