you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize