It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
