it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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