we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
