You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize