Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
