he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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