It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
