that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
