Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
