How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize