Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize