she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
