I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
God I need to hump something, right now.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
