You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
