You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
