She announced her abortion via fbk
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
