Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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