I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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