I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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