I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
