My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
