just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
