What did we do last night that was yellow?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
