There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
