party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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