No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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