I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
