Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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