I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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