he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
