He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
