everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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