Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
